If you find yourself thinking "there is no hope for my marriage", it's important for you to know that the idea that, “there’s nothing more we can do” and “we’ve tried everything”, and that “some marriages are just doomed to fail” is simply a myth.
More inspiration for how to save a marriage:
- How to save a marriage when only one is trying
- Overcoming negativity in a marriage
- Is my marriage over? Not when you do this...
Sometimes couples aren't willing to invest the time and energy it takes to make the relationship work because there's a feeling that marriage shouldn’t have to be so hard. And that if it is so hard- then something must be wrong!
Unfortunately though, because we all come with baggage and most of us were not taught the relationship skills necessary for marriage, we MUST put in the effort to make the relationship grow and NOT STOP until we find what works to do just that!
At the same time though, it makes sense that if you feel no hope in your marriage, then why would you want to put in the hard work?
Here’s what you need to know that most marriage counseling advice does not reveal.
There’s an “unconscious agenda” that brought you and your spouse together.
Meaning, there’s a HUGE potential for growth and healing in your relationship, and if you understand this, then you’ll know that the conflict you are experiencing is PROOF that you chose the right partner. This thought will give you hope and motivation to put in the hard work.
When a couple can see what is really going on in their relationship (usually during effective marriage counseling or a private marriage retreat) and understand that there is a greater purpose and healing trying to happen, they finally develop hope. And that hope is so valuable in their own healing and will become the catalyst that will end up motivating them to do the work.
We hold the hope for you and your relationship that it can be better and that it was not for naught that you chose each other. Invest in your relationship and see that hope develop into the relationship of your dreams!
Be in touch,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin