If your marriage is currently a miserable one, not giving you the basic things that you feel a marriage should be giving you, it's perfectly normal that you would wonder things like- when to file for divorce? Or if you should get a divorce and just give up on marriage?
We'd like to provide you with some clarity below on what we think could help you answer your doubts.
More inspiration and clarity on your question, "Should I get a divorce?"
- When is divorce an option? Last ditch marriage counseling
- What's the best way to stop a divorce?
- Falling out of love? Avoid divorce with a marriage retreat.
I think I am done with my marriage of 30 years. After all we were together because of me anyway. And now I think I am fed up I don't want to keep going through the emotional abuse. My husband is spoiled and has taken advantage of me, never says he is sorry, and I never know why he is mad. He stops talking to me it can be for days or weeks. He pretends I am not in the room while he jokes and plays around with the rest of the family. He says he is a bad husband and say's it like he is proud of it or like it is funny. Shame on me for letting it go for this long. I am a nice person and have tried very hard to make it. I see men who stay in love with their wives until the end so I feel I should move on or will live the rest of my life this way. I just can't seem to decide if I am making the right decision well deep inside I know I am. Do you tell people when to give up on their marriage?
Is he willing to get marriage help?
Your situation sounds painful and you are wondering whether you should leave your marriage and how to know when to give up on marriage. It's hard to comment on your situation as I have not met both of you, I would suggest trying to work on the relationship together. You did not mention if he is willing to work on the relationship with you in the form of marriage counseling or couples work together with you (and that's a critical missing puzzle piece)?. At the very least, you could tell him you want to improve your marriage.
People can change after getting the right marriage help.
If you feel comfortable, you could share with him how hurt you are and how you would like to make things better. It's hard to know what is motivating his behavior but people are capable of change and I imagine he doesn't want to be left alone at this point in his life. I have seen so many bad marriages get better once the couple finally was able to work on their relationship together in an effective manner. While it sounds like you may have made up your mind, I imagine that you would stay if you knew it would and could be better. While there are no guarantees, there are tools that do work.
Be in touch,
Rivka and Shlomo Slatkin