As we approach Passover (Pesach), I have been thinking a lot about how couples can release themselves from the bondage of their negativity and learn to love again. Couples often come in to my marriage counseling office stuck in their "stuff." While we are usually able to break through and shift the energy in the relationship, some couples take more time than others. Some are more focused on the past.
More inspiration on how to love again:
- 3 ways to infuse love in your relationship
- What are the 5 love languages and how can they help you?
- Are you falling out of love?
Learn how to love again from the holiday of Passover
Yet, I have hope for every couple that it is possible to get unstuck- even when it looks like such a feat would be miraculous.
This is the miracle of Passover. Our Sages teach us that the Jewish people were on the 49th level of spiritual impurity and that if G-d Himself did not take us out of Egypt we would still be enslaved. Why did G-d take us out even if we were unworthy? Because of His infinite love for us. The power of love is so strong that it enables one to over look all imperfections.
You can love again too and free yourself from all of the negativity that may be circulating in your relationship. Here's how:
How to love again
If you can reawaken the love in your relationship by focusing on positive feelings and love for your spouse, you may be surprised at how quickly you can leave the narrow straits of negativity and begin to feel reconnected.
Focus on implementing love infusions, step 5 of The Five Step Action Plan to a Happy & Healthy Marriage. Begin to focus on what is right in your relationship. Ultimately, what really matters is relationship and connection. Beneath all of the negativity in pain is the desire to be in a safe, loving, and connected marriage. Short-circuit the process and head straight to positive activities.
One of my mentors in the Imago therapy community shared with me that she is moving more and more to focusing sessions on purely positive topics as many couples have a hard time working through the negativity and invariably get stuck. When you are able to realize that you can have positive interaction, you may discover new found hope for your relationship. This Passover, pass over all of the negativity and resentment and leap forward to a new relationship filled with love and appreciation!
If you are interested in transforming your relationship from one of hurt and pain to one of love and connection, please contact us.
Be in touch,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin