You're wondering, "is my spouse unhappy?" Chances are that you already know the answer to this question and are looking for what you can do to help foster the old feelings of happiness that you used to have with each other.
More inspiration for reigniting the flame with your spouse:
- How to get that honeymoon feeling back! 8 tips to reignite the flame
- Staying present
- The Getting the Love You Want Marriage Retreat is Magical
We'll give you a few of the telltale signs that indicate that your spouse is unhappy on ONE condition! That you continue reading to the end about what it means if your husband or wife is unhappy! :)
Here are some of the signs that your spouse may be unhappy:
1. Your partner complains about you to their friends or family- Happy couples know that it’s best not to involve others in their relationship. They talk directly to their spouse if they have an issue instead of consulting others who often may provide negative feedback that could hurt the relationship. There is nothing wrong with healthy ‘girl’ or ‘guy’ time but don’t use it as an opportunity to complain about your spouse.
2. Your partner compares you to others- Happy couples accept and love their spouse as is. They know that comparing to others is unrealistic and unfair and will leave them feeling insecure about their marriage. If you do spend time with other couples and you even see better qualities in another spouse, stay confident and don’t second-guess your choice. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, even if it looks like it is.
3. Your partner plays the victim- Blaming each other for their problems is not a habit of happy couples. Happy couples take responsibility for their feelings and their role in the relationship. They ask for what they need instead of wallowing in self-pity or blaming their spouse for their situation.
4. Your partner critcizes- They look for the good in their spouse and when they are upset they learn how to ask for their needs in a sensitive way. Happy couples know that criticism only tears the other down and create a rupture in their relationship. If you’re spouse is doing something that you don’t like, pay attention to why it’s bothering you and learn how to talk about it in a safe way.
With these issues and any other signs of unhappiness in a relationship, it is never solely the fault of one spouse. If your partner is unhappy, it is important to make an earnest effort and take ownership for the role you play.
At the same time, a person's sense of well-being and happiness comes from within and how he/she reacts to external stimuli. It is important to understand what you are doing that may be triggering your spouse's unhappiness and be more sensitive. It is also crucial that you both speak directly about the issue in the context of a safe conversation.
Be in touch,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin