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How to Save a Marriage When Only One is Trying

by Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin / April 14, 2017

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How do you save your marriage when you are the only one trying?

If you are both contributing to your relationship nightmare, or more likely you think it's your spouse's fault, how can you possibly improve your relationship if you are the only one doing anything about it?

Know this, that it only takes one person in the relationship to change in order to cause a shift in the marriage. While it would be easier and more efficient to have both parties working together, don't underestimate the power you have to save your marriage when only you are trying.

Need some more inspiration? Explore this topic deeper with other related posts on The Marriage Restoration Project blog:



If you want your relationship to be better, and you really want to see your spouse change, you are going to have to start helping your spouse feel safer, heard, and important. Setting out to fix your marriage alone is also going to REQUIRE that you change your attitude about your spouse. The latter can have a huge impact in that it transforms the way you approach the marriage and helps you take responsibility for your role.

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It is quite common that the one who is trying to save the marriage blames the other partner and looks at him/her through a lens of judgment. Instead of blaming, take ownership for your role in the relationship and see what you may be doing to set off your partner.

The only behavior you can control is yours and while you wish theirs would be different, blaming or being self-righteous won't make a difference. As you change yourself, you will notice your spouse responding differently. You may even get to a place where you can do the work together!

Step 1: Know that it only takes one person in the relationship to change in order to cause a shift in the marriage

Step 2: Help your spouse feel safer, heard, and important

Step 3: Think differently about your situation, not just that your spouse is the problem and that he/she is the problem and needs to change. Make that mental shift!

Step 4: Instead of blaming, take ownership for your role in the relationship and see what you may be doing to set off your partner.

Step 5: Start noticing how changing yourself instead of focusing on changing your spouse naturally causes your spouse to begin acting differently!


Our online Marriage School is a program for couples as well as for individuals who want to save their marriage, even when there is only one trying. It will teach you:

  • Why you are experiencing difficulties in your marriage
  • How to approach those challenges
  • Provide practice tools that you can implement on a daily basis

Although you may feel like you're the only one trying to save your marriage, you need to learn how to do it in a more effective way so that you actually get the result you are looking for.



CONCLUSION:

Enjoy the results of a renewed mindset and newly accepted personal responsibility on your part to be the change that you want to see in your marriage. It's the easier way to begin seeing the results that you want to see in your marriage, without having to nag or blame or feel hopeless. For more assistance with the process, contact us if you need more 1 on 1 help! 

Be in touch,

Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin



 

Tags: how to save a marriage when only one is trying restoring connection

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