If you're wondering how to keep your long distance marriage strong even in the case of physical distance, know this- it's entirely doable and will take work (just like in the case of any marriage!)
More inspiration for long distance relationships:
- Remote marriage counseling for long distance relationships
- Are our marriage problems related to deployment or are they indicative of something else?
Here is some long distance marriage help that can help you support your relationship right now:
Step 1: Give Appreciations: It’s so easy to notice the flaws in our spouse and take the virtues for granted. We need to throw out this recipe for resentment. Instead make it a habit to express gratitude and overlook their faults. Daily appreciations will help you not lose sight of all the good your spouse does for you. You’ll also get in the habit of focusing on the positive and your partner will feel loved. Make a few minutes a day to include appreciations in your routine. Sit down and look into each others’ eyes (even over Skype!) and share what you appreciate about what your spouse did for you today or a quality that he/she possesses. If you can, have your spouse mirror it back by repeating what you said to make sure they really got it!
Step 2: Flooding: You can develop this exercise of gratitude and positivity by celebrating your spouse even further. Make the time to really show your spouse how great you think they are. More than just an appreciation, flood them with positive energy and enthusiasm. I often have couples do the flooding exercise where they physically walk around their spouse in a circle, and each time they go around, they say three physical characteristics, three behaviors, and three qualities they like about their spouse. They face their spouse, who is sitting down, share one item, encircle their spouse and continue the process until they are finished. With each successive comment they raise their voice and excitement level. They then shout out a global affirmation of why they love their spouse so much. This exercise really changes the energy in the room and the relationship and allows the spouse on the receiving end to truly feel cherished. You can do a variation of this over Skype with your partner.
If you're currently living apart from your spouse, make it a habit to continually express gratitude through appreciations for him/her (even over the phone) and the flooding exercise. Focus on what he/she does that is right and focus on that instead of what is wrong.
And if you need further support to help your relationship, click below to be contacted about our skype marriage counseling option.
Be in touch,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin