If you've landed on this page, no doubt you've searched for adultery and infidelity counseling. Our guess is, if we had to pick which spouse is guilty, it wasn't you. How do we know? Because most people that had an affair, don't even fully come to terms with what they did. That's because it likely started as an office affair or an emotional affair, and then graduated into full fledge adultery.
More resources for what to do if an affair has impacted your marriage:
- What you can learn from affairs
- When your spouse has an emotional affair
- How to begin the healing process
If you're looking for how to get over infidelity, you can keep reading and also you can listen to our podcast episode on the topic. It will give you a sense of our approach and how you can learn to overcome this.
Highlights from our podcast episode:
We all have free will and are responsible for our actions. No matter how justified one may feel, there is never a valid excuse to commit adultery.
At the same time, know that adultery does not exist in a vacuum. If your relationship was fulfilling for your spouse, he/she would not likely have looked elsewhere.
Of course, this does not mean it is your fault; rather it means that if you wish to repair your marriage, it would be worth going back and understanding the origins of your relationship breakdown.
When did your relationship go sour?
What do you think your spouse may have needed from you?
What were you perhaps not giving him/her?
You certainly deserve to give yourself time to be angry and upset and mourn over the betrayal. Once you can calm down a bit after you've found out about your situation, it is worth exploring these issues so that you can actually begin to heal.
Why is that? Because you will realize that your actions also contributed to the state of the relationship, a relationship that may have left your spouse wanting to "exit".
That realization is meant to help propel you forward into healing and reconnecting with your partner not to blame yourself.
If you notice that you may have not been so attentive to your wife, or you were critical of your husband, or you were out of work and your wife felt scared, whatever the case may be, you can begin to see how such a terrible thing could happen and how you can prevent another relationship breakdown in the future.
Painful relationship advice to listen to, but true and needed. Do you agree?
If adultery has wrecked your relationship, we can help you heal. Contact us to schedule an appointment to chat over the phone for some clarity about how to proceed.
Be in touch,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin